icecreamemperor (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
icecreamemperor) wrote2014-04-03 04:53 am
icecreamemperor) wrote2014-04-03 04:53 am
(no subject)
I don't know how to start writing about what I need to be writing about, if I need to be writing about anything, right now.
For some time I have been trying to think about what it is I want for myself but for some time now I think what I want for myself is to stop.
It used to be that all I wanted was to be able to see it and be there and try and tell you what it was like, but then at some point I got mixed up on who the 'you' was and somehow that has been a blinding and a muting curse.
I am selfish and it is boring and I cannot get outside of myself any more, hardly ever, it is like being in a wind tunnel all the time.
I should have gotten over all of this a long time ago, but what was I supposed to get over it for, why am I supposed to get over it now?
Except to spare other people.
For some time I have been trying to think about what it is I want for myself but for some time now I think what I want for myself is to stop.
It used to be that all I wanted was to be able to see it and be there and try and tell you what it was like, but then at some point I got mixed up on who the 'you' was and somehow that has been a blinding and a muting curse.
I am selfish and it is boring and I cannot get outside of myself any more, hardly ever, it is like being in a wind tunnel all the time.
I should have gotten over all of this a long time ago, but what was I supposed to get over it for, why am I supposed to get over it now?
Except to spare other people.