Apr. 27th, 2003

Ugh.

Apr. 27th, 2003 09:38 am
Ever have one of those mornings where you wake up, and it's like somebody poured a cold bucket of fear down your back to get you there?

I guess it's school anxiety. Life anxiety. I had a dream I was taking some sort of lit class, except it was on a bus, being taught by the bus driver, who was a woman in a wheelchair -- she came out into the aisle to give another student a football, because this student was leaving the class. The syllabus consiststed of all the seminal works of oppressive dystopian literature. I couldn't figure out why I was taking the class, because of course I was supposed to have graduated already. Later in the dream, I replicated this revelation as I tried to figure out what classes I was going to take 'next term,' only to realise that there wasn't a next term, so I could just audit any courses I took.

It wasn't a very scary dream, except for when the bus was plummeting down Parc avenue (next to the Mountain) with nobody behind the wheel for a few seconds as the drivers switched over.

But I still feel vaguely terrified. Like I'm absolutely in the wrong place, doing the wrong things, but I have no idea what the right things are, or where I should be. And I don't mean in the metaphysical, 'what am I doing with my life' sort of way. It was more like somebody I knew was dying next door, or I had an appointment to save the world downtown that I had forgotten completely.

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